I wrote a show called Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and it’s at UCB on Wednesday at 6:30. It’s pretty much what it sounds like - the story of Romeo and Juliet, complete with Shakespearean dialogue, told largely through dance to dubstep music. This performance will determine whether we get picked up to do additional shows at UCB so I’d love it if we could get as many people to come as possible!
Reservations can be made here:
For the past couple weeks I’ve been writing fake biographies of my incredible cast and posting them on Facebook, I figured I’d put them all together here. They kinda got weirder as I went along. So here goes, introducing the fantastic and beautiful cast of Romeo and Juliet. Oh I forgot to write one for me so I’ll put it first.
Erika Heidewald plays Juliet. Erika is actually Tom Cruise in disguise.
Katie Orr plays Romeo, the mopey teenage dreamboat. Katie hails from the small town of London, England. She moved to America at 14 to perform with Cirque du Soleil and study the myth of the American cowboy. In her free time she flies helicopters and draws pictures of ladybugs. She is “super excited” to play Romeo and says that Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical is “way better than Cirque du Soleil.” Yay Katie!
Amy Hessler is Tybalt, Juliet’s aggro cousin. Amy was born on a boat somewhere in the North Atlantic, which inspired her love for the sea - she’s internet-famous for her Moby Dick fanfic. She was a world champion bowler in high school and now lives in Hollywood with her three ferrets. She says Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical is “the best show ever, way better than Moby Dick.” Yay Amy!
Kim Brown is Mercutio, Romeo’s BFF. Kim’s first love was space - her mother was a cosmonaut for the USSR during the Cold War. After they defected to the United States, Kim worked for NASA until she came to LA on vacation five years ago. She had a moment of spiritual awakening in Laguna Beach and decided to make California her home. In her free time Kim enjoys going to aquariums and collecting stickers. She’s thrilled to join the cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and says the show will be “fantastic” and she’s “so glad the Cold War is over.” Yay Kim!
Ruha Taslimi is Lady Capulet, Juliet’s bitch of a mom. She was born in Mississippi, where she was the #1 Little League player for the entire state. In college, Ruha invented a new type of lawnmower and made a fortune that she promptly blew in Reno. She moved to LA to write a series of inspirational comic books about surfing until she was distracted by the siren call of comedy. She is “pumped as hell” to be part of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and says it is “even better than making a fortune by inventing a new type of lawnmower.” Yay Ruha!
Ariana Lenarsky is the Prince of Verona a.k.a. The Boss. She was born in West Virginia to a coal mining family. She met a canary in a coalmine at 10 and it sparked a lifelong love of birds. She is a certified falcon trainer and has rescued over 100 injured wild birds and helped re-integrate them into their natural habitat. She accidentally got into comedy when she walked into UCB chasing a chickadee with a broken leg and then decided to stay for Shitty Jobs. Her hobbies include yarn collecting and field hockey. She is “pumped as all hell” to join the cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and says she will “never go back to the coal mines of West Virginia.” Yay Ariana!
Claire Barnhart is Balthasar, a Montague man to the end. She was born to missionaries in Mexico City and joined a convent at the age of 18 with the intention of being a nun. Shortly before she took her vows, she went on a mission trip to Los Angeles and fell in love with the seedy culture of Hollywood. She left religion behind and became a licensed skydiving instructor instead. Skydiving is her religion now, and she has taught such celebrities as Bill Clinton, Natasha Bedingfield, and Will.i.am. She is “thrilled and honored” to join the cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and says dancing to dubstep is “just about as fun as rocketing out of the sky with only a parachute keeping you from certain death.” Yay Claire!
Jessica Haymond is Paris, the guy Juliet is supposed to marry until she meets that Romeo dude. Jessica was born in the jungle somewhere in Borneo - her parents were chimpanzee researchers and raised her among the chimps for the first five years of her life. Jessica experienced culture shock moving to New York City when she was 6 but quickly adapted. She’s now famous for her chimpanzee-themed graffiti around NYC, which Banksy cited as an inspiration in an interview with the New York Times. Jessica is “so so happy” to join the cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and says she is “excited to prove to people that there’s more to me than my incredible graffiti skills and affinity for chimpanzees.” Yay Jessica!
Beck Medina is Gregory, a Capulet man. Beck was born in Okenogee, Wisconsin, to a family of ice fishermen. She assumed she’d follow in the family tradition until she had a chance meeting with a seismologist, which inspired her lifelong love of earthquake prediction. She’s now one of the primary seismologists for Southern California, but manages to do comedy in her spare time. Other interests include coloring and flute collecting. She says she is “extremely busy” but “very excited to join the cast of the excellent show, Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical.” Yay Beck!
Chase McCown plays Capulet, Juliet’s glamorous father. Chase was born to a single mother who competed in roller derby competitions around the country (Debbie “Dick Destroyer” McCown). He became a champion bodybuilder at the age of 13 and retired at 19 after he discovered his true passion, knitting life-size sculptures of elephants. You may have seen them around Echo Park. Chase is also a distant cousin of Tila Tequila. He says he is “so happy” to be joining the stellar cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and because he’s the only boy in the cast he won’t stop singing “the only boy in the world” to the tune of that Rihanna song. Yay Chase!
Aliza Pearl is Abraham, a Montague man. Aliza was born on a farm in rural Texas. She thought a cow named Sally was her sister until she was 18 and her parents finally told her the truth. Distraught, she left home forever and ran away to Los Angeles to pursue her dream of getting in the Guinness Book of World Records for making the world’s largest ice cream sandwich. She succeeded. Her hobbies include philosophy and writing limericks. She is “so excited about Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical” and says she “wrote a limerick about it, wanna hear it?” but I didn’t have time so I don’t know what it is. Yay Aliza!
Katie Marovitch plays the Nurse. She was born in Bogota, Colombia to a family of fast-talking corporate lawyers. From an early age she loved wolves and to date she has written over 3,000 songs about them. She plays the piccolo, the bongos, and the lyre at an expert level. Her hobbies include ice hockey and learning Finnish. She is “beyond happy” to join the cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and says she “really wishes you’d let me play the bongos in it, I am great, I swear.” Yay Katie!
Ego Nwodim plays Sampson, a Capulet man. Ego was born in Beijing, China to a family of CIA analysts. Thwarting her parents’ wishes, she turned away from the world of international intelligence gathering and instead decided to become the first woman to boogie board across the Pacific Ocean. Upon landing in LA she decided to make her home here, where she continues to boogie board professionally as well as pursue her other interests, landscape painting and doing Sudoku. She is “thrilled” to join the cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and says putting this show together was “harder than boogie boarding across the Pacific ocean.” Yay Ego!
Ele Woods plays Friar Laurence, the kindly man of God. Ele was born in shadow of Mount Rushmore, where her parents worked as park rangers. From an early age she loved technology and frequently hacked into government and corporate websites for fun. Arrested at age 12 for infiltrating the FBI website and changing everyone’s middle name to “Cheese,” she was charged as an adult and served three years in prison. Besides comedy, her hobbies include building ships in bottles and playing jai alai. Ele says she is “beyond excited” to join the cast of Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical and she “wishes you had not published my prison record on Facebook.” Yay Ele!
April Mouton plays Benvolio, Romeo’s amiable cousin. She was born in Gettysburg during the middle of a Civil War reenactment. She traveled the reenactment circuit with her parents until she was 18, where she learned many skills such as blacksmithing, cannon firing, and 1800s-style dentistry. When she was 18 she went into a Guitar Center to use the bathroom, saw a Fender Stratocaster, and fell in love. She became a hard-rock guitarist and has played with groups as diverse as the Foo Fighters, Billy Joel, and Good Charlotte. When she’s not shredding the electric guitar you can find her slalom water-skiing or doing macramé. She says playing Benvolio is “the honor of a lifetime” and says she can “probably get Benji Madden to come to the show if we can get him a comp.” Yay April!
Director Jesse Esparza was not so much born, but bloomed out of a magical flower, just like Thumbelina. All the forest creatures loved and cared for him until it was time for him to make his journey into the wider world. The first person he stumbled across was an old witch who granted him two wishes and a curse. The wishes were for a sparkling sense of humor and a great head of hair, and the curse was that if he didn’t take a selfie every day of his life would spontaneously combust. Armed with these new wishes and burdened by the curse, Jesse wandered from town to town until one day he stumbled on the set of Gossip Girl and found his true passion - the entertainment industry. He has been an actor, writer, director, and bon vivant ever since. His hobbies include hula hooping and communicating with the spirit world. Jesse is “excited and honored to be directing Romeo and Juliet: A Dubstep Dance Musical” and he would also like to promote his other baby, Tonya Harding The Musical. Yay Jesse!
That’s it, I hope you come to the show! Wednesday Sept 10 at 6:30!